Thursday, 2 February 2012

Today was the day

I woke up at the ungodly but all too familiar 4 am. Eyes wide open, today is test day. The day for which all other days are mere preparation. The two week wait is over and I finally get to pee on a stick. Or pee in a sour cream container and dip a stick in it, as it were. I wanted to wait until Venessa had to get up at 6 so we could both share the moment, whatever it may be. However I actually really had to pee and I wasn't going to waste it on not testing so instead I waited, reached for my iPhone, that killed 15 minutes. Thought about my plan of attack. How was I going to tell her? Come out of the bathroom with my face in my hands, tears is my eyes and have that moment of her not knowing whether it was good news or bad. Having the secret to myself for a few moments before letting her know. Would I fall to the floor in dramatic disbelief? Should I run out, stick in hand, and jump on her on the bed screaming like a banshee. The possibilities were endless! I imagined the two lines in my head so many times this morning. I manifested the crap outta that positive test! I was almost surprised when there was only one line. “Funny how the day just goes on like normal” Venessa said after I cried until my pillow was soaked. That pretty much sums it up, you just get out of bed, put some concealer under those swollen, red eyes and go about your day. I know it was foolish of me to think this would happen on the first try at home but I just had this feeling that maybe, just maybe it was our turn.

Until next month progesterone, you sobbing, brain foggy, will eat a whole bag of kettle corn in an episode of Modern Family, hot flashing little tart. Your presence will not be missed!