Wednesday, 31 July 2013

parking lots, box stores and hands that reach...

We are on the very verge of  life changing forever. The familiar drive to work, the parking lot in the back where I all of a sudden find myself without remembering how I got there. My mind drifts so much I’m surprised I am able to function. It’s almost another month and we are still waiting. Still singing and talking and reassuring her that there’s nothing to fear on the other side.

The front door stays open all day at work and lets in small breezes of hot air that collide with the AC, the contrast of the untouched jagged mountains that reaches above the mall and the box stores, the contrast almost painful. I’m not someone who reaches out my hands and asks, yet lately the amount of hands reaching out for us has left me more grateful than I have ever been. So much it’s almost heavy.

Tomorrow morning we will be giving her a gentle push towards the light, here’s hoping she gets the hint.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

The past few...

Warren took us on a (very) bumpy truck ride to see if it would get things going...we decided not to cross this bridge by truck so we got out and explored for a bit...

Then we ended up by this beautiful rushing creek half way up the mountain...

...and finally at the top of the world. 20 minutes from home and we have this, beautiful beautiful British Columbia.

The doggies now expect to go swimming once a day and who are we to deny?!

Almost beach ball size!

Morning walk with Freya to the creek, completely surrounded by hummingbirds, amazing!

Morning at the lake

Next year Minea will be with us at the lake, so exciting!! And look at all the little friends she'll have!

Friday, 12 July 2013

So so soon...

It’s not happening today...the 9th is not her birthday.. I turn and look into Venessa’s dark brown eyes, almost black in the faint light that seeps in between the curtain and the wall. Do you feel anything different? Anything at all? She rolls her eyes at me multiple times a day, my questions so repetitive and unnecessary. She would tell me right away.

I poke around her tummy a bit...there’s her bum..her heels, her feet that push back when I rub them. Every day feels like a week. And every morning I wake up feeling like it’s Christmas plus my birthday plus I’m getting married and going on a big trip times 1000. That is the level of my excitement and it’s exhausting and beautiful at the same time. Do you think she’ll have blue eyes? Or dark like yours? I imagine signing my name on the birth certificate, the final proof that she’s actually ours, that she’s here. So many times I’ve wondered if we would ever get to this point, I can admit now we were almost done. Maybe it’s not meant to be for us. We were so close to giving up. And now its almost her birthday. It wasn’t the 9th, but soon. So soon.

Friday, 5 July 2013

The past few...


Karisa made Venessa this for her ultimate pregnancy craving

Stagette party!

Been making birth prep tea by the gallon

1 year old cutie!

Venessa has been making me awesome breakfasts lately

Car is clean and the car seat is in...

So ready!