Did you know there’s something called an evaporation line on a pregnancy test? It’s this faint little gray line that appears where the bright pink line should be. It’s a cruel joke sending your hopes and dreams into a spiral of chaos. I saw a line. I swear I saw something appear and although no other human being would be able to see it, even though I had to squint, spin around three times, turn the lights on and off and blink repetitively, I saw it! For two hours I thought I was pregnant. For two hours I had planned my surprise reveal to Venessa. I felt like I could finally let my friends and family off the hook of feeling sorry for me. Then I started goggling. And then I took another test, and another, and three tests a day for days on end and the line didn’t get darker. Then auntie flow showed up, flowmotion was in the house, shark week began, you get the point. Did this blog post just go through the five stages of grief in 5 minutes? Because that’s all the time I have, tomorrow I get to go back on the drugs ya’ll! You know how much I love my clomid.
Despite all of that I had a really great weekend with lots of happy distractions, going to the carnival with my favourite little person, being invited to a fancy dinner and having lots of laughs and lots of desserts with friends, had a scrumptious breakfast made for me and fell in love with a small orange car.