Friday, 12 July 2013

So so soon...

It’s not happening today...the 9th is not her birthday.. I turn and look into Venessa’s dark brown eyes, almost black in the faint light that seeps in between the curtain and the wall. Do you feel anything different? Anything at all? She rolls her eyes at me multiple times a day, my questions so repetitive and unnecessary. She would tell me right away.

I poke around her tummy a bit...there’s her bum..her heels, her feet that push back when I rub them. Every day feels like a week. And every morning I wake up feeling like it’s Christmas plus my birthday plus I’m getting married and going on a big trip times 1000. That is the level of my excitement and it’s exhausting and beautiful at the same time. Do you think she’ll have blue eyes? Or dark like yours? I imagine signing my name on the birth certificate, the final proof that she’s actually ours, that she’s here. So many times I’ve wondered if we would ever get to this point, I can admit now we were almost done. Maybe it’s not meant to be for us. We were so close to giving up. And now its almost her birthday. It wasn’t the 9th, but soon. So soon.