A little story of pregnancy hormones.
I’ve been getting pretty close with them over the past
couple of months, we’ve been spending more and more time together lately, maybe
a bit too much in fact. You know when you get to know a new friend and you’re
in that honeymoon stage and you want to be together all the time and everything
is so great about them you tell all your other friends how amazing this new
buddy of yours is. Then slowly you realize they have no other friends, and
those hilarious stories they told you, they tell everyone, and you’re so
frakken sick of hearing the same story over and over and eventually you realize
you are not meant to be friends at all and then you start calling them a
complete nutter behind their back. But enough about my friends, back to the
pregnancy hormones…kidding! So me and preggo hormones were besties in the first
trimester! We dodged this bullet I thought as we frolicked around talking baby
names and giggling over the future.
The second trimester hit and everything changed. Suddenly, I
didn’t feel so invited to the party anymore. Here’s an example of how me and
the pregnancy hormones go from buddy buddies to “we are on a break!!!” in two
seconds.
Venessa is in the bath as she often is these days and I go
to bring her a glass of cold water in there, as I often do cause she likes it
and I’m nice. I let the water run for a long time to make it extra, extra cold
so she’ll be really happy. I walk up to the bathroom door and it’s locked. I
take a pair of tweezers and open the door from the outside (feel like a suave
burglar for a few seconds) and walk in to see she’s crying in the bathtub. I
quickly go over the past 8 hours in my brain and scan for any possible rudeness
or downright meanness that could have caused someone to cry. I set the coffee for her in the morning, packed her lunch (with
homemade bran muffins I might add which she later told me she “just couldn’t
bring herself to eat..” as if it was kale pudding or something) and lentil soup
that I made the night before, I went to work for eight hours, went and picked
up some wood glue she needed, got a bottle of wine for the weekend (had to show
ID, win!) checked on our friends’ cats on my way home, got home and made
stuffed mushrooms for us for dinner, prepared some natural dyes for easter
eggs, went to our neighbours to glue a countertop together, came home and let
the tap run for a long time for a cold glass of water for Venessa. No, I
couldn’t find anything in that day that could have upset her. Was is the
mushrooms, not enough garlic perhaps? It’s impossible to say!
But it doesn’t matter, the pregnancy hormones will find
something small and make it the hugest deal there ever was ever in the universe
so help me god! Where I screwed up, what I should have done was buy diet coke.
The reason for the locked door and the tears streaming down her face…I didn’t
buy diet coke. I did not know she wanted coke, infact for the past week she’s
been telling me not to get any because it’s a bad habit to get into. It doesn’t
matter, I should have read between the lines, or maybe I should have read her
mind or transported myself to the future to know that the pregnancy hormones
really wanted some diet coke! I offered to go to town to get some but it was
too late she said, the damage was done. This action showed a lack of caring for
her needs and maybe I’ve never really loved her!! If only I would have known
through universal osmosis that she wanted diet coke.
I’ve never quite understood the meaning of frenemies until
the second trimester hit, and now I do.
Meanwhile my google search history is filled with questions
like...”how to cope with pregnancy hormones” and “when does it end?”, “how to
read minds” and “can I get endorsed for writing diet coke 50 times in my blog?”
